When I grow up I wanna be a bounty hunter


You’ve got yourself into it, you can get yourself out of it.

I remember my mum telling me this when I was little.  It usually referred to me climbing a tree then crying because I couldn’t get down.  I had recurring nightmares about climbing onto a swing then looking down and realising I was hundreds of metres from the ground, as if I was on a trapeze, and I’d cry.  My mum, far away and tiny, would look up from the ground which was so, so far away and say “you got yourself up there, you can get yourself down”.  I’m still terrified of heights.

Relevance?

I’ve got myself in a bit of a bind.  No, I’ve done nothing illegal, I haven’t hurt anyone (yet), I don’t owe money to the underworld (unless you count one of the big 5 banks or telco’s as underworld… possible) and I’m not stuck on a trapeze.

I’ve got myself into a career that doesn’t suit me.  Yeah, you’re all rolling your eyes, groaning and calling me a drama queen.  You may think it’s trivial but, to me, it’s probably the worst thing I’ve realised since finding out where babies come from – seriously, that still terrifies me.  (FYI not the first part, I’m totally ok with that bit).

Being stuck in a career that doesn’t suit you is about as comfortable as wearing a size 6 g-string on a size 12 butt – excruciating and immobilising.  If you don’t believe me, I challenge you to switch your underwear to 3 sizes smaller (then leave your feedback below, I’m intrigued).

I currently have a job that pays well.  I know, a lot of people would give their soul to be in my position and I’m grateful that I have an income and an education.  It just isn’t working for me.  I’ve tried desperately to be fit into mainstream employment, climb the corporate ladder and bust through the invisible glass ceiling.  Sure, it’s possible but why the hell would you want to?  Do you know what’s on the other side?  Another ladder, another ceiling.

You can only do this if you conform, lock away your dreams, put on a grey or black suit, and mindlessly play “follow the corporate leader”.  Forget innovation, forget creativity, forget initiative and forget being an individual – just sit down, shut up and do as you’re told like the good little “number” that you are.

I think that’s the bit that doesn’t entirely work for me.  I’m not real big on “doing as I’m told”.  I was the kid that ignored advice such as “don’t touch that, it’s hot”.  I still touch wet paint signs, simply because I can.

So, based on my mother’s teaching, I got myself into this mess so I should be able to extract myself too, right?

I’ve been researching ideas for extricating myself from this situation.  (Well actually I was researching ideas for writing a novel but it turns out I was able to topple two birds with the one well-aimed stone).  I’ve decided I want to be a part time (I need to allow time for my entrepreneurial and artistic pursuits) private investigator or a bounty hunter.  I think I’d be good at it as I’m inherently nosy, people just naturally tell me stuff I’m not supposed to know and I have experience as a spy/secret agent.

Of course this could just be a phase, time will tell.

What would you like to be when you grow up?

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7 thoughts on “When I grow up I wanna be a bounty hunter

  1. I wanna be like Walt Disney and build a “Melonaide Land.” haha 😀
    Oh well, if you hate it, go for something else, I’ll be the first one cheering if you actually become a bounty hunter. lol. Like your mom said, you can get yourself out of it. 😉

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