Office jobs can be perilous. And I’m not referring to your average paper cut or superficial burn from the coffee urn either.
I’ve been told by my employer that I will become a “continuous improvement facilitator” and have endured two days of a three day, internally run, course to learn this.
I’ll bet you’re wondering about the peril factor right? No, it’s not the fact that I detest having a career change chosen for me without my consent and subsequently may be tempted to punch someone or that the lunch provided is no doubt a salmonella sandwich.
Seriously, if I sit motionless for longer than about 15 minutes I will fall asleep, guaranteed. Some may think this is a benefit and it totally is if you’re in bed or on the couch. However, I tend to do this during daylight hours when I’m in a public place and someone just talks at me.
This is no “long blink” either – I’m talking the full head-lolling, open-mouthed, drooling, noddy-smack type sleep. Once I woke myself up mumbling incoherently, another time I snorted (which I think was actually the start of a snore) and had to pretend I was coughing. Often I twitch violently as I nod off which I’m sure makes others think I’m about to enter a grand mal seizure. Thankfully I am not a bed wetter – that could be awkward…
It was more important than usual that I remain awake for this course as several managers and my director were also in attendance – the CEO was even going to make a cameo appearance.
This was a high risk situation people. I’ve assessed the risks as follows:
Job Security – falling asleep during training does not bode well with senior management.
Etiquette – it is impolite to sleep while someone is imparting knowledge to you.
Injury – sliding off a chair or noddy-smacking the desk with your forehead hurts.
Stress – avoiding inevitable sleep is stressful. I understand why sleep deprivation is such an effective torture tool.
I’ve tried many tricks to prevent sleep – digging my nails into my hand until I draw blood, drinking a lot of water so I have to make constant visits to the toilet, countless cups of coffee and I’ve even tried the old “I’ll-just-shut-the-eye-closest-to-the-facilitator-and-maybe-they-won’t-notice” trick.
After much failure – I’ve found the answer!
I’ve discovered that if I draw I can remain awake. Not only that, I actually listen and learn. Because I’m relaxed, yet focussed on something both tactile and visual, both my mind and eyes are open.
life job saving creations.
I had three of these before drawing one of the cups. Liquid personality refers to the fact that I am much more amicable after coffee than before.
My future is bright! I not only stayed awake and participated but I also got to practice my drawing.
Of course I could have just put these on and had a snooze behind the lenses but I think the head tilt and subsequent dribble might have given me away…